Jonathan Winters FUNNIEST Moments That No Host Could Control

And I said, “Well, most our people are from Boise and I didn’t want them having come that far just to look at grass, you know.” So what we did, we put him out there on the porch,  set him up against the lattice, and cold spell set in just kept him harder in the car. [applause] I remember the other day it sun come out and he commits to get fleshy and uh his face dropped a little bit and uh but I tell you Mr.

 Lal, even in death there’s humor. My my eldest boy, Lamar Jean, twisted the deceased hand around, put a softball in.  For over 30 years, Johnny Carson interviewed the  biggest stars in the world. But there was only one guest who completely hijacked the show every single time because he operated  without a script, a filter, or any sense of logic.

 Miss Lugri.  Yeah. Miss uh Allan Lugri, a woman who’ lost her legs, believe it or not, due to uh woodpeckers.   But but sad.  Well, it’s sad, but it’s good. And it was a a conversation piece that got her hair into the local paper, and that’s all she ever wanted out of life. And uh her legs looked wooden apparently to the birds.

 Oh, I see.  And uh they ate her legs away.  Oh my god. And so  whether he  was improvising the most absurd twisted rural tragedies on live television  or some highway, a major highway,  uh  had concrete on it.  Had concrete and everything. And I was sitting like this in the snow  and uh uh state highway patrolman came out and he said, “Uh, can I help you?”  And I said, “Yes, you can.

 Uh, I’ve been meditating over whether this vodka’s gone or   casually confessing  to his own real life boozefueled run-ins with the police.  Guy came up the other day. He said, “You got any uh funny drinks in there? You know, any fruit cake?” I brought him a fruit cake. And of course, it blew up on him before he got to the cart.

  Jonathan Winters possessed a dark, chaotic imagination that turned even the most wholesome topics  into absolute madness. I’m going to be out pretty soon.  Really?  Yeah.  Do you have a girlfriend yet?  Yeah, I’ve got a girlfriend in the ninth grade.  Well, the ninth grade.  I’m in the third.

   Isn’t she a little old advanced?  It doesn’t make any difference.  Well, physically she’s gang busters.   I know, but   with an endless arsenal of spontaneous personas, he was the undeniable king  of unpredictability. Buckle up because we are looking at the absolute wildest moments of Jonathan Winters.

One, when an interview becomes a circus, Jonathan Winters takes over.  And truly funny gentleman, every time I introduce him, I don’t know how the hell he’s going to come out here, who he’s going to be. So, would you welcome, please, whoever, Mr. Johnny.  Embracing absolute chaos, the host surrenders control to his eccentric guest.

 A bizarre rural persona arrives next. Well, sir, I I don’t think I uh I don’t think I got your name.  Didn’t you?  No, I didn’t, sir.  Buck Edelhoffer. I hope you don’t mind either one of you if I chew.  Oh, no. No, sir. Not a bad  Well, I always have. Ever since I was 6 years old, I always had a bunch of stuff in the right side of my face.

 Yeah, just like ball players. Huh. Just like ball players do that, huh?  I suppose.  What has always been fun for me is to get a little curry dog and do that to them.   You get their attention right away.  They just like this. They can’t see for but not  with stuffed cheeks.

 This strange farmer creates immediate absurd tension. A tragic bird incident follows soon.  Miss Lugidge.  Yeah. Miss Allan Lugidge, a woman who had lost her legs, believe it or not, due to u woodpeckers.  humorous but but sad.  Well, it’s sad, but it’s good. And it was a a conversation piece that got her hair into the local paper and that’s all she ever wanted out of life.

 And uh  her legs looked wooden apparently to the birds.  Oh, I see.  And uh they ate her legs away.  Oh my god.  And so inventing wooden limb destruction shows sheer improvisational madness. Hilarious flood casualties approach next.  Here’s Sunday a week, we come into a flash flood. Oh, no.  Yeah, we got 3,600 acres there.

 3,600 acres and only two cows.  That was always her humor.   So, when we found them, they were skeletons.  Oh my god.  And u water took the guys in the bunk house. It had been that whiskey. And uh it took them, there was 17 of them.  And they found them in unusual positions.

 Um  guy up there on a tree like this. Another man laid back obviously saying what the you know um  to recount massive agricultural death with casual poses proves supreme comedic confidence. A sudden military transformation happens next.  All right, General uh Richard Discord.  You can call me Dick.  All right, Dick.

  You fought for your country in World War II.  Mhm.  Now you’re a retired major general.  Pretty much so.  Mhm. I’d like to wear my hat until I’m drummed out.  Right. Tell me, General, the diversion of funds to the Contras. There seems to be a trail [clears throat] from Switzerland to Iran back to the Contras.

 Did you have any personal knowledge of the diversion of funds? And did you profit from any of those  monies at all?  That’s a long question.   I would want you to take your time, General.  Well, I’ll certainly do that. Um, I would say that’s a a two or threearter.  Well, let’s take the first part. Did you know about the diversion of funds?  A little bit.

 A little bit.   Now, let’s go ahead with it. What’s the rest of it?  All right. Did you know that the funds were being diverted to the countries?  No. I had no word of that. No knowledge that there were any countries or saninistas. As a matter of fact, myself, a guy called Ted and um another guy called Carl and Bob,  right? And toward the end of 84, 84 and a half, almost 85,  85,  decided we were going to buy and a very wealthy man in Texas, Managua.

  No, we we have no information on that at all.  Good, good, good.  Nothing about buying Monaga at all.  Well, that’s that was our it was a side goodie.  I see. Did you profit personally from this at all? I’ve never profited personally from anything except my first marriage. My wife saw to it that I got through West Point.

 Because he changes characters without warning, the interview becomes pure fiction. An arthritic athlete emerges soon.  Good ball player always does this. Yeah.  Works the bill.  Yeah. If it’s like this, he’s a truck driver.  If it’s like this, he’s been hit by a truck. If it’s like this, he’s catching Not so hard.

   If he’s like this, I’ll get it or something.  So, he wears it like this.  Yes, that’s right.  Yes, sir.  So, you’re Whip Willis, the legendary legendary baseball star of the 30s.  I’d say pretty much a legend in my own time, John.  Uh-huh.  Uh, I’m still a legend. I’m still throwing that series of things I throw.

And I’d like to point that out. I’m 65 years old.  65.  Yeah. I’m sort of a Caucasian satchel page.  My goodness. And um  could you go out there, do you think, in the oldtimes game and still pitch a couple of  oldtimes to me are a pain in a you know.  Yeah.  And I suppose you can’t say that on TV, but I don’t care.

 I like to play with young people. Keeps your mind up. It keeps the heart moving and your eyes.  My eyes I I I still see them. I still see the man’s fingers, you know, that that he uses. They hold them over here, you know. And um so um sometimes I just told him, “Hold that money clip of the money.

” That’s a little humor for a baseball person. Well, speaking of money now, you you played in the days when ball players didn’t make a lot of money. Today’s players get a million dollars or so. Do you do you get any offers to do say commercials for television, beer commercials or something like that?  I’ve had a lot of offers and I’ve read for these things, but I’ve never got them.

 Oh, that’s true.  And uh I think that uh I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s my reading. I I am not an actor. I am a ball player. Right.  And I’d like to bring this out to the boys and girls of America right now. And there are a lot of girls. I’m I’m working with girls and always have been because I have a more of an interest in girls than I do both. I see. Okay.

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. And I have my own girl softball club and we take them all over middle America and have them throw softball and also have hard ball. And my stepdaughters, I have four of them. Oh yeah. I didn’t do too good on the fourth marriage. And I have four stepdaughters. I’m trying to put through um uh they’re put through animal husbandry school.

 And uh  husbandry. Oh yeah. Unique.  Yeah. Well, they are.  And uh one dresses as a bear, plays second base,  and uh you can tell that she’s got a lot of work ahead of her. But uh no, I I throw a I throw a curve. This if you’re watching now, please.  This is a curve.  That’s curve ball.

 Yeah, you have to do this with people. This is a knuckler.  Knuckler.  This is actually arthritis.   This veteran sports figure disguises severe joint pain as special pitching techniques. The final confused citizen concludes this chaos.  Now, we’re going to talk just briefly to an average citizen of the United States.

And your name, sir, is  Wayne Second Face.  Wayne Wayne Sickenface.  Wayne Second Face.  What do you Where do you call home, Wayne?  Uh, Wales. No, I’m kidding.  Uh, where are Wales descent? All people are from Wales originally and Scotland  and also Istanbul.  Yeah. Oh,  with everything that’s going on today, all the accusations made, the improprieties in government, how do you feel about your country?  Oh, improprieties.

 Yeah.  Um, well, I feel that I feel the country is suffering immensely  from uh tremendous lies. Tremendous. Lies have been laid on us. Lies, lies, lies, lies, lies. Um,  but I have lied most of my life. I can say that. Now, let me say this. A lie is a lie. But when you get upwards of 60, you better stop lying.

  Uh not that I’m, you know, afraid of going up or down. It’s just in case I go up, right? And uh I think  so whatever you ask me and I’m touching you for a reason.  Oh, I see.  Just like this.  God, you’re a really good-look man.  Well, thank you.   Do you do you live alone? Do you Wayne?  Well, sometimes it’s getting tougher and tougher to have him come up to the third floor.

I hate to see a grown woman, 38 years old, shimmy up a grain pipe.  Yeah, that’s from  Anyway, you you’re from originally from Wales.  Well, not origin. I was kidding you about that.  Oh, I see.  Oh, when you’re out there all year round on a farm.  Oh, you have a farm?  Yeah, I have a farm.

 I have over 13 acres.  Well, that now that’s not big by most standards.  Well, it’s where it is.  Oh, where is the farm?  It’s actually Albian. Albian. God, I wish I could think where it is. Just before I come here, I was struck by lightning.  And uh Oh, yeah. Two hours up. We was 2 hours up coming out of hell.

 I don’t know where I’m from originally,   but the lightning hit. And  the lightning didn’t hit the plane. Come through the wind and hit me.  Well, that’s bound to affect your memory.  His mind wiped blank. The guest blames extreme weather for his confusion. This spontaneous brilliance remains unmatched forever.

Two, the legendary Jonathan Winters pranks. In this appearance, Jonathan Winters transfers his unpredictable madness onto the prestigious television stage. A bizarre wardrobe confession opens this strange encounter.   New for me. Uh, was in a fire sale and I grabbed it up.  I’m not proud.

 I a lot of my things are used.  Uh the shoes were I bought those in the same sale. Not ashamed of that. There’s a fire sale.  Behind closed doors, this comic genius invents ridiculous personas to confuse random callers. An unusual pet grooming excuse follows next.  One of my favorite stories. Um I love to may maybe you know be an old person or and someone will say uh hello uh is uh Jonathan Whit.

 No the boys the boy is in the basement  is uh combing the KITTY say who’s this?  Well just an old man who wanders around his house. And uh  to harass a childhood friend requires tremendous creative effort and severe intoxication. The ultimate morbid prank call begins soon.

 His name was Art Lidle and he and I had gone to school together and he was a funeral director. And uh so uh I called him and I assumed a character and I knew that he didn’t hadn’t seen me or heard my voice in a long long time. So, I knew I was home free. And I called him up and uh he uh owned the uh Jack and still does this day, the Jackson L funeral home in in Springfield.

 And uh so I said, “Ho, is uh is Mr. Arthur Lyle Jr. there?” And he said, “Yes, speaking.” And I said, “Uh, is this Arthur Lyle Jr.?” He said, “Yes.” I said, “Well, this is Elwood P. Sugggins and I live out on the Lakewood Beach area and my brother passed away here Sunday week. And uh  what starts as a simple fake death announcement turns into supreme absurd fiction.

 A bizarre winter storage solution approaches next.  Long pause.  And he said, “How long did you say he’d been dead?” I said, “Well, he passed away here Sunday.” He said, “Good Lord, man. Where’d you got him?” And I said, “Well, most our people are from Boise and I didn’t want them having come that far just to look at grass, you know.

” So what we did, we put him out there on the porch,  set him up against the lattice, and cold spell set in just kept him harder in the cart.  Because he commits to the character, the fake tragedy reaches unbelievable heights. Six sports humor delivers the final punchline. I remember the other day it sun come out and he commits to get fleshy  and uh his face dropped a little bit and uh but I tell you Mr.

 Lidle even in death there’s humor. My eldest boy Lamar Jean twisted the deceased hand around and put a softball in.  A master of vocal disguise, the entertainer traps innocent workers in surreal conversations. An impressive split personality demonstration arrives next.  Who are you?  And he said, “Well, this is uh Mr.

Cavendish, and I’m with Ben and Bose or something, and I’d like to talk to Mr. Winters.” He said, “You mean Johnny?  Let me see if I can find Roundo.” So, gee, you see this guy at the other end of the phone? So, uh, I I then shipped him away. I said, “Hey, Rondo, come on in. there’s a phone call for you. Get on it.

 So I said, “Uh, hello. Uh, this is Jonathan Winters.” And and then the guy at the other end said, “Who was that I was talking to?” I said, “I’m on the phone, too.”   During his armed forces service, he risked immense trouble for one simple laugh. A dangerous military confrontation concludes this madness.

 And grandma one minute. And hi, honey. You know  that would a lot of guys didn’t understand  that would shake up a barracks later.  I turned I’ll never forget to a full bird full bird colonel and did a voice on him which never forget and I said oh sir  what is your NAME [applause] sense of humor  three the most bizarre childhood ever Jonathan Winter’s Christmas disaster.

So I went over to kiss him which you know even in the 30s you could do that and uh it was most fathers would point here here never here here.  So I get oh full blast and uh so it was at that time with wet shoes that I stepped on the track   through an absurd holiday accident. Jonathan Winters reveals his twisted comedic imagination.

 A strange complaint about senior citizen models begins the actual interview. I just got  interesting. A woman 75 shriveled. You know, nothing unpaid. I’m not against people. I’m getting shriveled myself, especially there. There you go. I’m looking for What are you looking for?  I’m just looking for one. Take your time.

 You won’t be graded until well after 8.   PENCIL’S DOWN. TIME.  What sounds like a professional artistic struggle becomes a hilarious visual joke. As the conversation continues, a famous cheap education program receives massive ridicule. Is that  I Well, I did a combination and was still turned down. I I did  You mean they turned somebody down?  Oh, sure.

 I Well, I did the parrot apparently on the wrong shoulder of the pirate.  And then I I I did the pirate eating the the pirate the parrot.  And the guy sent me a heavy duty letter. He said, “Obviously, you got big.”  To fail a simple matchbook drawing test proves supreme creative incompetence. From adult failures, the comedian pivots toward early childhood educational trauma.

 Kindergarten was a problem.  Kindergarten was a problem for me. I remember trying to make a clay rabbit and uh had all day. You know, usually you should be able to make one before lunch  and uh I just like this and Mrs. Macaulay came over.  This minor clay sculpture disaster forces a ridiculous academic decision.

 a self-proclaimed intellectual. The boy chooses total isolation over standard schooling.  But I fooled her. I was kind of a papier-mâché intellectual. I went around her, skipped the first grade entirely. Uh committed myself to the attic and stayed there, read a lot of magazines. Oh, yeah. And listened to the squirrels wandering around and uh then came down in time for the second grade.

  And uh  because he hides with rodents, his educational path takes a surreal turn. How his intoxicated father dresses for winter creates another unforgettable image. You know, here’s a little rosyfaced kid. Sort of angelic. I was in those days. And I had I put on uh makeup. A kid down the block was a little different for me.

 And  put on little discs, you know, and I was trying to do the Nutcracker suite and everything. I’m looking at my dad who is  this is December 24th, you know, Christmas Eve. We’re going to set the train up and he’s in a Sears sucker suit and a swimming trunks. You know,  I was just  amidst holiday chaos, inappropriate seasonal attire adds profound visual humor.

 The ultimate miserable childhood gift concludes this tragic holiday reflection.  So,  stockings were filled full of just walnuts and that’s a bummer, gang, you know.  Stuck in full bull of walnuts. Oh, another one. Another one. Surprise, surprise.  Four. The wild past of Jonathan Winters. Drunk driving and bizarre tattoos.

Jonathan Winters shares his wild past with absolute comedic brilliance. On the national broadcast, a dangerous highway confession starts this madness.  You’ve been off of the sauce for  Oh, yes. 15 years.  I put that on the shelf. I went at it pretty good. Well,  couple of big jugs a day.  Yes.

   And was completely out of focus.  You drink two of those funny jars. And   I remember, well, when you’re doing, you know, 75, 80 miles an hour going down the wrong wrong freeway, the traffic coming against you. Uh, that’s a little frightening to them and you.  What begins as normal traffic humor becomes pure fiction.

 To escape a severe ticket requires an immense creative deception.  He said, “You’ve been drinking.” And I said, “You know, officer, I have.” I said, “I’m so glad you stopped me.” I said, “I I I just uh just experienced an earthquake uh about uh 20 miles back and the bridge collapsed. I had to drive around.” I gave him a story.

  I told him an earthquake, an electrical storm, saw a plane land [clears throat] in a field,  and all the time the guy’s just doing this. Wonderful. Very funny. Very funny. And u gave me a check. U not a check.    You may have asked  because he invents insane natural disasters.

 The veteran officer shows confusion. A master storyteller. The guest next recalls a bizarre hotel incident. And we sat out there because we wanted to we wanted to take one of the shrubs into the  you know I never forget we sat on the pool with we were completely clothed and just put her legs in the pool shoes and everything on  and uh to cool off.

 That’s that’s when I knew it was time to stop.   Wet and confused, the entertainer admits his physical limits. During his armed forces service, an absurd skin art encounter happens next.  Tattoo people are strange, you know. I mean, the guys that put the tattoos on, they’re um they’re covered with them, of course, walking advertisements.

 And guy had an eagle. I remember he just had a pair of khaki pants on and some funny little sandals. This was the guy that had the needle uh and was doing the tattooing. And a huge eagle, one of the biggest eagles I’ve ever seen in my life. And uh had the head of a HUMAN BEING. AND  THAT’S WHEN I KNEW I DIDN’T WANT A TATTOO.

SO, I uh when I saw that, I panicked.  This mutated creature creates profound personal terror. Whoever views his personal canvas art expects abstract chaos soon.  That’s uh the title of that one is called uh Two Birds Watching Doris Day’s Cat and Dog Drown. And you  see the uh see the little kitty.

 Yes, I see the little kitty there.  The kitty’s down below and the doggy on top. You see?  While the crowd recovers, more twisted visual humor arrives. An innocent winter greeting. The final mechanical bird brings huge laughs.  I’m giving out this year. Simple kind of almost a primitive thing with little cardinals. uh in the snow.

 No, but that I like that. That’s very pretty.  And um one of the little birds, if you can see, um has a key in his back.   And one of the birds,  one of the little birds, yeah, you see the little key right there.  Yes, it does.  Has a little bird on the ground. Has a bird on the ground has a has a key in his back.

 And he represents one of the toys among the real things.  Through these unpredictable tales, the legend cements his unique status. His bizarre mind remains an unmatched American television treasure. Five. When comedy turns violent, the bizarre stories of Jonathan Winters. I said that, she said, I gave him away to the mission. I said, that’s all right.

 You know, that’s okay. The poor kids, but you should have you should have written me. You know, those last hours in Philadelphia discharge.  And I said, please, why? Why? You should have let me know. And she said the line I’ll never forget. He said, “Well, sweetheart, how did we know that you were going to survive?”  Jonathan Winters reveals his dark family humor through a brutal childhood memory.

A strange literary confession. The actual interview begins next.  Did your Did your wife suggest you should not use a secretary? Was that  right away? Right away. She said that ballpoint pen, get on it. And so I went down the basement and between jobs uh wrote this little 216 page book.  Modern technology loses to a cheap pen and basement isolation.

 Bizarre holiday violence approaches soon.  Um I always wanted to do that as a kid go oo watch the big rubber turkey.  Um terrible or a violent child. Um I stuck it in a real turkey. He went at me. Um,  this disturbed boy attacks live poultry without hesitation. what becomes an alternative version of American history follows next  and of course the boat went right into Plymouth Rock and uh they swam ashore and then they got up on the rock and everybody prayed usually on the rock and those that didn’t pray were cuffed

around a little bit and uh  by the minister you don’t you believe we don’t believe you know so  uh  pious founders become abusive religious fanatics in this absurd tale from the indigenous perspect perspective. Strange fashion critiques happened next.  Eric Koy and Senica and he was saying, “Look at the buckles on the dummy.

” And um, of course, it was something for an Indian because he had no buckles, you know, good waist, tight, and uh, maybe a rubber band, but certainly not a buckle. Say no. And then the guy had buckles on his shoes. Hey, no wonder they were not wanted right away.  And then the buckle.  Native observers judge the odd European accessories with pure confusion.

 A massive agricultural disaster. The bird massacre arrived soon.  In the beginning, we raised turkeys back in the late 30s. We had over seven. So we had about 600 of them. And I thought it was early snow, but it was just white turkey. And uh we just went out there with a full shot, about 12 shot, opened up and got a lot of them.

 And  uh then then I had heavy grief over that.  Uhhuh.  Severe winter weather confusion causes tragic flock casualties. Sick elder care techniques conclude this segment.  I watch her and then we watch the movies together and I [clears throat] get her to the window so that she can look at the kids, you know, just drag her out of bed and over at the window.

  Go ahead. Go ahead. Look at her. Put it on F6 and uh put it on CU closeup, you know, and then I drop her out of the window. Kids will play with her for two or three hours. Well,   they dragged her around and wore her back.  His unpredictable rural characters treat extreme domestic abuse as casual fun.

The brilliant comedian and turns profound darkness into immense laughter. Six. Pure festive madness. Jonathan Winters and the Exploding Fruitcake. Jonathan Winters transforms standard holiday broadcasts into bizarre comic adventures. A massive fake dog sled journey begins this madness.  Yeah, I can see that.

 I uh  I started from Alaska about six days ago. Seriously,  we’re not talking about skateboards, you know, on little rollers or things like that or a car. I had uh 16 dogs. And I want to tell the people out there this. They were not live dogs because the Frozen Wilderness Tale takes a sudden twisted turn.

 An unexpected human sled dog provides sick comic relief. Oh, my shoes. They looked like they were real. The guy was real and he had full leather on. I whipped him pretty good. And uh he turned around and and smiled and said, “I love it. I love it.”  Innocent seasonal traditions become dangerous weapons in his mind. An explosive baked good destroys an annoying neighborhood visitor.

 Guy came up the other day. He said, “You got any uh funny drinks in there? You know, any fruit cake?” I brought him a fruit cake and of course it blew up on him before he got to the car.  Extreme domestic tension ruins normal festive gift exchanges. His tough spouse delivers massive disappointment with zero remorse  and used. Oh yeah.

 Yeah. And she said, “I’m not putting out 45 grand for a car, you clown.” So I said, “What’d you get? Something around 15. You know, I can drive something that’s halfway decent.” So, uh, she said, “Yeah.” So this year or a couple of weeks ago, I said, “What are you?” You know, kind of like a little kid.

 I’d like to play a little boy because sometimes you can sucker them in. She’s she’s about my age. And so I leaned in. I said, “What are you getting me this year?”  Big mama. She doesn’t like that terminology. And uh she said the same thing you got last year. Oh, childhood memories feature severe backyard destruction instead of joy.

 A classic weapon gift causes tragic neighborhood animal casualties.  BB rifle.  Yeah, we got a Daisy BB guy.  Got the guy next door  picking those things out of his head.  Oh, Johnny.  Oh, no. I’m I’m kidding about that because I know there are a lot of children listening. Um,  I did load up though and fired up in the sky.

and uh couple of squirrels got it.   The genius comedian switches personas without any warning. An ancient woman extorts massive cash for simple stick figures.  Highly by Grandma Moses. I’m 94 years old.  94. And the clown on the NBC hour always says another pretty woman. You know, oh any rate, we don’t mention his name.

 uh he knows who he is. Wears several rugs and then he’s all uh any rate, I have these little cards and I they’re simple because you know there are a lot of simple people out there,  right?  So I draw for instance just a stick figure and then little circles of snow.  Oh, that’s nice.  And sell the card for about $56.

 Fraudulent holiday greetings lead to another chaotic character shift. An angry houseman destroys the peaceful festive atmosphere.  I’ve asked you never to come in here at this time of year. Your mouth full of that tobaca, you nasty man. Grasshopper and Levis’s, get out of here.  Well, listen, you ladies lay up there in bed and suck on that eggnog.

 That’s your dog here. Come here, Growler.  Seven. The wildest drinking stories. Jonathan Winters meditates in the snow.  Some highway, a major highway. Uh  had concrete on it.  Had concrete and  everything. And I was sitting like this in the snow. And uh uh state highway patrolman came out and he said, “Uh, can I help you?”  And I said, “Yes, you can.

 Uh, I’ve been meditating over whether this vodka’s gone or  Jonathan Winters turns severe traffic violations into pure comic genius.  A strange observation about studio carpet begins this wild interview. [applause]  Hey, they’ve changed the carpeting.  Yes.  Yeah, I think. Haven’t they freshened up the set?  These are patches from everywhere.

 We did this in therapy.  These are  these are from the different shows that were cancelled. And when they take the carpet, they just cut it off and bring it here and we use it.  Psychiatric treatment jokes create instant awkward tension on stage. Bizarre liquid consumption habits surface in his next memory.

 It was fun. I saw an old friend of mine, Jack Magcguire, you and I used to have some fun times and have a little gasoline, you know, and drink some shaving lotion and stuff. So, uh,  industrial fluids become normal beverages in his twisted past. extreme disrespect toward local police follows this absurd confession.

 Yeah, I remember I all that night uh the officer and I he was very nice to me. We sat in his car  because uh he didn’t have very good battery and uh  so he was a you know kept and I made fun of that you know because you ever you ever miss those days?  The arrogant drunk suspect insults a poor patrol vehicle.

 A twisted animal diet claim provides the final punch line.  I’m I’m I’m with you now. Yeah.  I know. I’m I eat a lot of vegetables. Doesn’t show, but um  big on lettuce.  Oh, yeah. I have a thing about rabbits. I love them. And uh um I they’re active creatures, you know, and if that if that’s what they eat, that’s what I eat.

 [applause]  Eight. When the final interview goes crazy, Jonathan Winters says goodbye. Jonathan Winters transforms this emotional farewell into another bizarre comic masterpiece. A strange wardrobe confession begins the historic final interview.  No costume tonight. I just decided to come out. A mixed array of things.

 One was a fire sale and uh shoes were taken off a guy. He was hit just once.  So a lot a lot of good use in those shoes I bought.  Yeah.  Well, you look very outstanding store. So I at least it’s it’s me, you know. I’m not kidding anybody. It’s a total of $113 for  Very nice, John. Good to see you again.

 The absurd fashion choices establish a wild, unpredictable mood. Bizarre childhood banking memories introduce a strange nostalgic character. Next,  I do find with as a kid, I was able to go up to the to the teller, whether it was Mr. Wardlow I think was the teller in our bank and uh he was a very precious man.

 Yes.  And uh  little little  Exactly. Yeah. He squeezed my hand and pennies automatically came out of him and uh he’d just say now have you been saving Johnny  H. He got that look.  Sweet nostalgic reflections become pure dark humor without any warning. A violent construction accident ends the innocent bank teller story.

 Uh   somebody uh well when I say he got it, I mean somebody uh ran him down to the edge of town and he collapsed to failure.  I’m sorry to hear that.  Heavy construction guy got off the equipment and ran at him.  But  um  he knew he’d scare him to death and he did.  Severe industrial trauma turns into complaints about modern computer systems.

 A dangerous mobdad explains his immediate need for cash.  And you say, “I have $113. I’d like to get that because there’s an Italian man outside and he said, “Get it.” So, and there they don’t get around.  So, uh, if you owe somebody, I happen to be inside. I’m picking on one denomination. You know, any anytime you owe some money, you want to get your money. $113.

 Financial panic shifts toward a casual conversation about outdoor sports. His twisted perspective reveals zero sympathy for tiny aquatic life.  For the smaller fish, I don’t feel sorry for the smaller fish. I don’t know why. Um, it’s almost like small people, you know. Boom. [cheering] I’m kidding. I’m kidding.

 I’m kidding. I I’m I’m kidding. I have No, no, I am.  I I know you’re kidding.  Animal cruelty jokes lead into another rapid character shift. An old rural farmer describes strange acrobatic grooming habits. Next.  She’s fun at packing hay in the summer.  Oh, she’s got big feet.  Uhhuh.  And uh she does her toenails.

 Yeah. We’re watch When I’m watching a ball game, she’s doing her nails.  Clipping the nails. Uh-huh.  And big nails. She I’ve seen her hang upside down like a [applause]  His imaginary wife performs bizarre physical feats during baseball games. A precocious school boy arrives to discuss inappropriate romantic relationships soon.

 I’m going to be out pretty soon.  Really?  Yeah.  Do you have a girlfriend yet?  Yeah, I’ve got a girlfriend in the ninth grade.  Well, the ninth grade.  I’m in the third.  Isn’t she a little old? Advanced.  Doesn’t make any difference.  Well, physically she’s gang buster.  This disturbed third grade student pursues older women with supreme confidence.

 His brilliant madness leaves an unforgettable mark on television history. For over 30 years, Jonathan Winters proved he was the absolute  master of unscripted chaos. He was the one guest who could consistently leave Johnny Carson in tears from laughter. His brilliant mind and bizarre characters left an unforgettable mark on television history.

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